Wages, puns, viruses and a product endorsement.
There was an old cowhand who owned a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage & Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.
“Well,” replied the rancher, “There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.”
“The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board.”
“Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.”
“That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,” says the agent.
“That would be me,” replied the rancher.
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Pun Alert: You’ve been warned!
This company had a real superior product in its butter substitute, but the company went under one time when it received an order for a million pounds of the stuff.
Some of the employees made mistakes in preparing the product and much of it was wasted. They were not able to deliver in time.
The company had not allowed enough margarine for error…
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There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.
This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should forward this warning to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
Parting Shot - A product endorsement letter:
Dear Tide,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I’ve used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.
Now that I am older, I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
Well, one thing led to another and somehow I ended with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn’t come out.
After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!
In fact, the stain came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.
Well, gotta’ go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.
Hillery C.