Prawns, Marriage, and a CD-ROM
Welcome back!
I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been busy building the new JigsawADay.com’s Archive CD-ROM, with most every puzzle from June 2005 through December 2006.
Check it out.
Now to the jokes:
A Girl was in the hospital, her parents sat waiting in the waiting room…
Finally the doctor comes out. Both parents jump up, and the whole room watches.
“Is it serious?” the mom asked.
“She needs a brain transplant” the doctor replies.
Both parents stand silent for a moment…then the father asks, “How much is it gonna cost?”
The brain? Girl’s are 450 dollars, and boy’s are 5,800 dollars.”
All the men in the room seem to chuckle to themselves, then finally the father brings himself to ask, “Why are the boys more expensive than the girl’s?”
THe doctor looks at him and replies, “We have to mark the girl’s down because they’re used.”
(Thanks for this one Barbara. It gave my wife a chuckle.)
Ya know, I really hope this guy lost a bet at Halloween or something…
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday. I’d like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M’s.
What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well Dear, what was it like being six again?”
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
“I meant my dress size, you idiot!”
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
Ya know you’re in for a boring night when the TV dinner has more taste than the TV shows…
Parting Shot:
Ok, this is the worst pun I’ve heard in a while. Blame it on Tak: Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed & threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, “I’m fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn’t have any worries about being eaten.”
A large mysterious cod appeared & said, “Your wish is granted” and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn’t realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, when lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it’s much worse).
Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn’t see his old pal. “Where’s Christian?” he asked.
“He’s at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark”,came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian’s abode.
As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, “It’s me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.”
Christian replied,”No way man, you’ll eat me. You’re now a shark, the enemy, and I’ll not be tricked into being your dinner.”
Justin cried back “No, I’m not. That was the old me. I’ve changed….
I’ve found Cod. I’m a Prawn again Christian.”
(Oooooooo….. I may give up seafood after that one!)
Ya’ll go check out the new CD-ROM, and have a great week!
Wayne