Navy Officers, School, a funny video, and strippers.
It’s another great weekend!
My two buds Chad and Jon aren’t the brightest two Navy officers around:
While Chad and Jon were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
Chad won 1st place; a years supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti.
Jon won 6th prize; a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Jon asked Chad how he liked his prize, to which Chad replied, “Great!, I love spaghetti!”
Chad asked Jon, “How ’bout you, how’s the toilet brush?”
“Not so good,” replied Jon, “I reckon I’m gonna go back to paper.”
As a new school principal, Mr. Cunzeman was checking over his school on the first day.
Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day. The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox.
Cautiously, he asked the school’s long time Custodian, “Do you think it’s wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?”
The Custodian looked at him gravely… “We trust them with the children, don’t we?”
Click to view our first video!
How to Save the Airlines
Dump the male flight attendants ! No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
What the hell - the attendants have gotten old and haggard-looking.
They don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a “party atmosphere” going in the cabin.
And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. Heck, I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working and have them kick back 20% of their tips.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right - a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why the heck didn’t Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Parting Shot:
Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
“Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.”
The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.
“Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.”
That’s it! Don’t forget to check out the JigsawADay.com’s Archive CD-ROM with over 500 different jigsaw puzzles.
Wayne