Navy Daze…
The aircraft carrier U.S.S. Enterprise was finally inching up to the pier at homeport when the Captain of the ship noticed a sailor on the flight deck gesturing wildly with semaphore flags. He then noticed an attractive young woman standing on top of an SUV, also waving semaphore flags.
Always concerned about security and never having seen something like this, the Captain barked at his Bridge Signalman, “What message are those two people sending?”
The Signalman concentrated intently and soon reported, “Sir, he is sending FOXTROT-FOXTROT and she is sending ECHO-FOXTROT.”
Not having any clue as to what these messages could mean, the Captain dispatched an armed Marine to escort the sailor back to the Bridge. The sailor arrived, out of breath from running up the many ladders to the bridge, and saluted smartly.
“Seaman Cunzeman reporting as ordered, sir!”
“Seaman”, shouted the Captain, “Who is that woman on the pier and why are you exchanging signals FF and EF?”
“Sir, that’s my wife, Sir, and she wants to eat first!”
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Question to keep you awake at night #32:
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
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Announcement: The JigsawADay.com 2007 Archives CD-ROM is now available, and it’s filled with bonus extras.
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This conversation took place between my daughter and myself about 15 years ago:
One day I found my five-year-old daughter, with the telephone, which she quickly hung up when she saw me. “What were you doing?” I asked her.
“Calling Aunt Mary Lou.”
“How could you have called Aunt Mary Lou?” I asked. “You don’t even know her number.”
“Yes, I do and I did call her,” my daughter replied.
I wasted a lot of breath trying to convince her that she didn’t know her number, but she insisted she had made the call.
“Okay,” I said finally. “What did she say, then, if you called her?”
“She told me I had the wrong number.”
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Bumper Sticker that made me smile… a little…:
Be nice to the United States or we will bring democracy to your country!
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You can tell someone is from North Carolina when:
They argue that poverty can be eliminated by allowing people to keep more of their minimum wage…
They try to write off their donations to the NRA as tax deductable…
They see nothing wrong with keeping six hunting dogs underneath the front porch of the trailer…
“Duke” is the name of their favorite dog, team, actor, and drink…
(It’s called a “Duke Cocktail.” To make it you You need the following ingredients:
4 oz Champagne
1/2 oz Triple Sec
1/2 tsp Maraschino Liqueur
2 tsp Lemon Juice
1 tsp Orange Juice
1 Egg
Blending Instructions:
Shake all ingredients except champagne in a cocktail shaker with ice.
Strain into a flute, and fill with chilled champagne.
Stir before serving.)
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