Mad Cow, The Pharmacist, Dilbert and a Pun.
One farmer says to another farmer that he had to shoot one of his cows.
“Was it mad?” asks the other farmer.
The first farmer replies “Well it wasn’t very happy about it”.
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone.”
Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the pharmacist and demanded an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him:
“Now, just a minute. Listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.
Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.
Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is still ringing.
When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife — she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
And Mister, I TOLD HER!”
I have to wonder about my job and my life. I’m starting to think of Dilbert as a documentary.
Pun Alert! You’ve been warned!
A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the body was that of a young woman.
The body was found with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back.
The on-scene officer asked what the detective thought had happened to the woman.
The detective responded, “I think it’s obvious. A cereal killer got her!”
Ya’ll have a good day, ya hear?