Lawyers, cabbies, drinkers and the Devil
Today’s thought: There is no such thing as ‘petty cash’…
An old but funny joke:
A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said, “There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep, one of you must sleep in the barn.”
“No problem,” spoke the Rabbi. “My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening.” With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door. The farmer opened the door, and there stood the Rabbi from the barn. “What’s wrong?” asked the farmer.
He replied, “I am grateful to you, but I can’t sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal.”
His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him. But a few minutes late the same scene occurs. There is a knock on the door. “What’s wrong, now?” the farmer asked.
The Hindu holy man replies, “I too am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can’t sleep on holy ground!”
Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn.
Moments later there was another knock on the farmer’s door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opened the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.
A mother and daughter were riding in a cab though New York City when the daughter noticed some scantily clad women loitering on a street.
“Mommy,” the little girl asked, “what are all those ladies doing?”
“They’re waiting for their husbands to come home from work.” the mother answered.
“C’mon lady, they’re hookers!” retorted the cab driver.
After a stunned silence, the daughter asked, “Mommy, do hookers have children?”
“Of course,” the mother replied, “where do you think cabbies come from?”
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There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and — WHACK!! — knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor.
The big dude says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.”
The little guy thinks “GEEZ,” but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden — WHACK!! — the big dude knocks him down AGAIN.
This time he says, “That was a judo chop from Japan.”
So the little guy has had enough of this… He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returns.
Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and — WHAM!!!” — knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!!
The little guy looks at the bartender and says, “When he gets up, tell him that’s a crowbar from Sears.
Parting shot:
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning everyone in the tiny Midwestern town got up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started the towns people were sitting in their pews when suddenly Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the exit, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.
Soon everyone evacuated from the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew. He was not moving and seemed oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now, this confused and irritated the Devil a little bit, so he walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”
“Yep, sure do,” replied the elderly gentleman.
Satan asked, “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
“Nope, sure ain’t ,” the gentleman replied.
Satan, a little more perturbed at this, asked, “Why aren’t you afraid of me?”
The man calmly replied, “Been married to your sister for 42 years.”