Kids, shopping, and wives.
I’ve found that the fastest way to get my kids attention is to sit down and try to balance the checkbook.
Two guys are pushing their shopping carts around a supermarket when they collide.
The first guy says to the second one, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”
The second man says, “That’s OK. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little worried.”
The first man says, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?”
The second bloke says, “Well, she is 24 yrs old, 5 feet 7 inches tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts, long legs and is wearing tiny little shorts and a tube top. What does your wife look like?”
The first guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.”
I read about this woman who had eighteen children. She entered Britian’s “Housewife Of The Year” contest. As part of her entry form, she had to answer the question, “What quality do you most admire in your husband?”
She wrote down ”moderation.”
The minister at my church was preaching one Sunday morning, when he said that there were 600 different sins.
By Monday morning, he had received 38 e-mail requests asking for the list…
Parting Shot:
Some people have no willpower. I was at the library the other day, and this woman was trying to renew a book for the sixth time. The title? “How to stop smoking in five days.”