Hitchhikers, blondes and the President.
Hope everyone enjoyed all the Superbowl commercials Sunday night. They were the best thing on TV.
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A young man was hitchhiking down south and a farmer driving an old pickup truck stopped to give him a lift. As they were driving, they got to talking about the local moonshine whiskey.
The young man told the farmer that he didn’t drink very much, and than moonshine would probably be too strong for his tastes.
“Nonsense!” said the farmer., “You gotta try some.” He fished around behind him and finally produced a small jug, “Here,” he said, handing the jar to the lad., “Take a drink!”
“Oh, no thanks,” said the young man., “I really don’t think I care for any.”
“No, I insist,” pressed the farmer, “Have some.”
“No, thanks-really,” said the young man.
The farmer wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He stopped the truck and grabbed his shotgun from the rack in back. He pointed the gun at the lad and roared, “I said, take a drink!”
“Okay! Okay!” said the young man., “I’ve changed my mind! I guess I will have some after all.”
The young man took a few swallows before he realized how powerful the stuff was. His throat muscles tightened, his eyes watered, and he made a choking sound.
“What do you think of it?” asked the farmer, “Good, ain’t it?”
“Yeah,” gasped the lad, “I guess so.”
Then the farmer handed the young man the shotgun and grinned, “Here! Now, you hold the gun on me and make me take a drink!”
(Thanks, Barbara!)
Here’s a thought: Let’s make all real estate developers live in their own subdivisions for the first year when they build it.
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Stupid blonde joke: Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?
“They send me a BLIND policeman.”“President Bush has started to make plans for what he’s going to do after he leaves the White House. He better hurry up because under his plan, he sure won’t be able to live on Social Security.”
–Jay Leno