Hearing loss, St. Patrick’s Day, Kids, Woody Allen and Taxes
The most common cause of hearing loss among men is the wife saying she wants to talk to him…
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Since St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner, I though I would share this joke my friend Susanna shared with me:
An Irishman is walking along the beach one day, and he sees a bottle laying in the sand. He picks it up and starts to brush it off, and out pops a genie.
The genie says, “Since you have freed me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes.”
The Irishman thinks for a moment and says, “I’m feeling a might thirsty, I think I’ll be wishing for a pint of stout.”
POOF! There is a pint of stout in his hand. He drinks it down, and starts to throw the bottle, when the genie says, “I’d look at that bottle again before I threw it if I were you.”
So he looks at the bottle, and it is magically filling back up with stout.
The genie told him, “That is a magic bottle, and it will always fill back up after you finish it.” The genie then asked, “What other two wishes can I grant for you?”
The Irishman looks at the bottle in his hand and says, “I’ll be taking two more of these.”
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When I was a kid, my parents punished me by sending me to my room.
Now kids have computers, CD players, cable TV and DVD players. I sent my son to his room. Didn’t see him for three days.
That actually worked out pretty good!
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Woody Allen explains: “I was in analysis for years. I had a traumatic childhood. I was breast-fed from falsies.”
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Parting shot: What is the main difference between cheating on your taxes and cheating on your wife?
If you cheat on your taxes the government still wants to screw you…
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That’s it for now. Ya’ll have a great St. Paddy’s day. If you haven’t been there in a while, be sure to drop by JigsawADay.com for some great free jigsaw puzzles.