George Dubya Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan.
The doctor says, “Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides, the left side and the right side.”
Bush interrupted, “Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? Doesn’t everyone have two sides to their brain?” 
The doctor replied, “Yes, Mr. President, but your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left!”
 – Grady Lacy
 

Hey, check out Fix Planet Earth.com and join the discussion! 

Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit.
Moses calls a staff meeting.
Moses: Well, how are we going to get across the sea? We need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us.
The General of the Armies: Normally, I’d recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us across. But there’s not enough time — the Egyptians are too close.
The Admiral of the Navy: Normally, I’d recommend that we build barges to carry us across. But time is too short.
Moses: Does anyone have a solution?
Just then, his Public Relations man raises his hand.
Moses: You! You have a solution?
The PR Man — No, but I can promise you this: If you can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three pages in the Old Testament!
 

A politician’s idea of safe sex - no press!
 

Strange thought of the day:
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
 

A one dollar bill met a 20 dollar bill and said, “Hey, where have you been? I haven’t seen you around here much.”
The twenty answered, “I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?”
The one dollar bill said, “You know, same old stuff, church, church, church.” 

Parting Shot:
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
“Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap,
click.”
“Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.”
“What was the jingle?” asked the first.
“Oh,” replied the other off hand, “just our medals.”
 

Ya’ll have a good day, ya hear? 

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 22nd, 2007 at 10:19 pm and is filed under Politics, Stupid People, Work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.